G-ma

I went to a funeral for my great-aunt the other day, and she is a grandmother of my cousin Jessica.

And sitting in front of me was my grandma, and i looked at my cousin, who was in tears from the loss of her best friend and family member.

I looked at her with such sadness, but then i thought about the fact that my grandma is YEARS older than her, and she could be leaving us very soon.

That to me is very upsetting. My grandma is one of my biggest fans and one person who cares for me very deeply. and it seems like i'm not always the first one to call her, or to talk for a long time on the phone when she calls.

I need to remember the times that we have shared together from when i was born to the growing times i'm in now.

I love my grandma, and i guess i need to show it more before there gets a time that i cant show it anymore :(

Moving on

I have begun to notice how hard it is to move on from someone.

When they fall off the face of the earth it kinda sends a message that its over...but how is that a way to give up on someone? and have you walk away saying "I dont like you".

It is obviously my own fault for the feelings I still have, because they were very upfront about thier end feelings. But throughout the time we spent together, It was just two friends having fun and enjoying eachothers company.

God has made it clear to me, that i need to focus on him and know that he has a plan for me. (i know because EVERYONE keeps quoting Jeremiah 29:11) *my life verse*

--For I know the plans I have for you, Good plans, not plans to hurt you, or cause you pain--

I need to focus on my life, and see how it goes until april, and Focus on school and make that my priority...after god of course...but as god has told me "Nothing will happen till april anyways"....and i didnt listen... hahahah

shoot.. <3