here's to new beginnings

I need to blog, or run around or do something with all this excitement...

I don't know why this is making me so excited, maybe it was that a year ago this would have never happened. A year ago I was told me coming to a party would be awkward...and probably not the best idea....but now, I am invited! and ya, i know what you are thinking...wow tayler...a party...good for you...what you don't get invited out much do you?

For your information, i do!...but in this case...this person as you can read from past posts, me and him never really were on the right foot....but in his words "God mends things....and that's amazing"

So yes, i am excited to go to his party...only because A year ago this season....this would have never happened...

Merry Christmas World...and Happy New Years ;)

love

Love is such a complicated subject.

There are many different types of Love....Family Love, God love, Relationship Love, Friendship Love, Pet Love, Plant Love, Job Love...etc..

But I think Relationship Love is so stupidly difficult... :S

well...for me anyways. it sucks.

that is all

Praise the Lord

It is done. 8 months of struggles, and 8 months of Satan having his hand wrapped around this one relationship. Is over. The struggles are finished, Satan's hand has grown tired and let go, because of God's work in myself, and this other person.

Praise the Lord. I feel released, I feel like nothing is pushing me down anymore, i am standing tall and proud with Jesus!

The final straw of the struggle, was stupid Facebook...waking up being blocked on Facebook, is never a good way to start the new year, but now, it is over, from his mouth "I really have no reason to block you anymore tayler" PRAISE THE LORD!

that's all I can say...Praise the Lord Almighty! :)

the changes I`ve made

So much has happened in my life, and all for the Good, not the bad.
My summer was so long, I never thought it was going to end... I missed my school, and my friends and i just wanted to go back and start it all over again.
In August i went to a camp called Anvil Island, and God definitly rocked my life. I went there knowing no one, having a hard time dealing with another person and no skill to be leading a group of 11 girls in a cabin.
By the end of the week, I had made so many new friends,, the issues I had with the person went away and we were back to the start of our relationship again...and the girls in my cabin were forever changed by god, and they were the ones to help me see God in a whole new way.

After that I was ready for school, more than I have ever been. First off, I moved onto Dorms, and I am away from my parents as we speak. But I went into this year with the knowledge of myself where I was ready to just be myself, and not care what people think, because this is who God made me to be, and if they didn't like it, then they don't like an image of God.

I love it. I feel so free, free of distractions, and free of a hard life, and i just feel happy all the time, and i can feel the devil trying to break me down, but i am pushing him out and he is not getting in...he pushes me down a lot, but i never fall down. I always push him away just as I am about to give up.

Never give up, and if you do, God is right there to pick you back up.

rebirthing me to my potential

when the path you are walking on is cracked and bruised, you turn to the spirit, who is always there, no matter what, then you turn to the flesh, who always makes you smile and helps you realise that the cracks are tiny and that the spirit heals the broken.

I have just gone through an ordeal of the heart. I had such a hard time turning to God and giving him the problem, and so I talked to someone who was able to help me see that if I don't give it to god it will never go away and the pressure of Satan will keep building and building.
And i really needed that, not someone who thinks that they can solve my problem, I needed someone to point me the right direction.
My heart is still in pieces, but I am not holding on to them, God is. It will take me a while to realise how easy it is for god to mend my broken heart, but thank goodness he used someone that helped speed up the process, and made my life SO much easier.
And for the first time in my life, I am realising how small this problem really is, it is NOT the end of the world, but if this would have happened less than a week ago, i wouldn't be handleing it the same way I am now....so thank you.

Deliverer

Do you believe that where the spirit of the Lord is, that there is Freedom? That there is Hope? That there is Healing?

Think about it. The spirit of God is around us every second of every moment of every day. And do you feel like your chains are broken? that you have nothing to worry about, because God's spirit is around you?

I know I truely don't. Not all the time. I feel safe, and that i can walk around on this earth with the knowledge that God is walking beside me and nothing can touch me. But do I feel free of Satan's hands? No...I feel him lurking around every corner just waiting for the point in which i stumble, or trip over my own feet and he can sneak in and take a smack at the bond that i have built with God.

I want to walk around, free from temptation, free from suffering, free from sin. Can we have Heaven on Earth right now? because that is what I want...The Ability that God's Blood is the only thing I need. That his blood is enough to break every chain that connects me to the ground and away from god.

God open my eyes to see the real you. To see that you are carrying me wherever I go. Lead me not to Temptation, and break every chain that is holding me down. I want to serve you and honor you, and love you as you have loved me. I know i am not living up to my promise I made to you, But I want that to change...I want you to be my life, and for you to decide my life, not me.

You know what i need, So i give this issue to you. I give my relationships, my problems, my money issues, my everything to you. Tell me what i need to do for you to get back onto that path that i was walking on....i miss it.

want to go back.

I feel like i am bored with what I am learning.

Playing Piano use to bring me such joy, and i loved the fact that i could learn things SO easily, and could make these musical creations in my head...

but now...I am bored, I have trained my ear so high that i have exceeded what i can learn right now. and Reading sheet music is too frustrating to even try.

I want to go back in time, to when i was JUST learning piano... that was fun, It was exciting to show people what i had done in such a short amount of time.

I just want a challenge, i want someone to say, Do this, and i will try and achieve that.

Please? someone?

I made this card with Erica Jones at our Stampin' up club.

the strawberry that is in the circle is a scratch and sniff :) it smells amazing!

I was actually proud of how this turned out!

...more to come :)

So i am really excited. In may i got the joy of quitting my job....one that i really hated...

well, for almost 2-3 weeks i have been looking for a new job, and the job market now a days is pretty slim pickings... :(

But the other day, i was offered a job as a Mary Kay Consultant! and i am SOO excited...the benefits you get and the money you are paid is AMAZING, more then i could ever ask for..

this is the first time God has placed something in my lap since I accepted him into my life....i am so excited to start this job...it will be great. being able to work with friends and go wherever and work whenever i want

perfect :)

"I'm Done"

I don't understand how childish people can be..

Like with breakups or endings of friendships...they end something then they turn around and its like the feelings you had for each other never existed. all there is now is this hatred for each other..

why is that? why do people act so childish when things end...like the friendship they had meant absolutely nothing.

Well, friendships that end like that, let me learn more about my own life.

This was a new experience for me, Having someone i was practically best friends with and would do anything for say they are "done" with my friendship...and then act childish about it afterwards.

well, thank you for showing me that i need to grow and need to change about my life...i hope this is able to show you that you need to change a lot too.. so till september...

Logo's Scholarship

Going to a Bible College is expensive. On top of that, finding a scholarship can be really difficult. That's why I was so excited to find the Bible College Scholarship website today. Not only are they giving away a $1,000.00 scholarship and a digital theological library, all I had to do to apply was watch a short video and answer a few questions! It took less than 15 minutes. What is best of all is that if you're in Bible College and apply for the Bible College Scholarship, and put my name as the person who referred you, if you win the scholarship, so do I! We could both get a $1,000.00 scholarship and digital theological library. So, do us both a favor and go apply for the Bible College Scholarship today.

Hungry

So my friends from the Tour team are now home...and the other day i spent 2 straight days with my bestie Lana, we got cream puffs (forgot them in the car) went to marble slab got ice cream and then went and saw Letters to juliet, and lana got popcorn, nibs and root beer...a LARGE size...man, when you haven't seen someone in a month...it is expensive... :(

Then the next day we went and saw "The Last Song" and then watched Dear John and Band Slam and had a sleepover....it was great

Now it is time for the Young Adults Camping Trip :D WOO

numero 50!

I have had no motivation what-so-ever to blog...is that sad?

Today i had a softball tournament and it was so fantastic :)

I played my best, but we lost 3/4 games...but oh well... We hit great and had SO much fun.

I got sunburt...but that is okay, it is better than nothing!! :)

So i am starting up a relationship...isn't that exciting??

He is pretty fantastic, and is everything i want in a guy.

It's hard because he is away right now, and we text all the time and are getting to re-know each other :) I like him a lot, like...A LOT a lot. :)

But yes...i thought you should know :) :P

Day 15

So today was just another day in the life of me....

I slept in, woke up, got ready for the day and went to my first day back at piano.

My piano teacher Erica, just had her 2nd child named Addison, and she is such a gorgeous addition to their family.

As i got there, i got to hold her and it was so awesome! i love her...she is so cute!

But now i am bored, watching pretty in pink.....woot

Day....i don't even know

So according to my Youth Pastor, (who will probably read this) I am old fashioned for using "Blogger" But you know what, it does its part...yes it sometimes is a pain in the butt....meh, doesn't matter, i like how it looks....

NOW he ALSO doesn't like my backgrounds....he thinks they are girly....but oh well...i like em :)

Any who....Had youth tonight (it IS Tuesday) and there was SO much junk food, i now feel SUPERBLY sick to my stomach...but it was good fun, got to hang with the youthies and watch a little bit of an epic fail we call Canucks Hockey...i was very disappointed...but now they are home and Hockey doesn't have to take over my t.v hahaha...

well...till tomorrow!

Day 13

shooot i missed a day...

Yesterday was mothers day, and i basically relaxed until i had to go to work at 2:45....

I wont even get started on how bad of a day that was!

Today was me on the job hunt... i got up and went out looking for a new job and so far...nothing.

not a single job was hiring, and i was like....shooot, this sucks.

So i came home, and relaxed for the night.

but now i just woke up from a nap...and i am very not happy....just because...it is now 10:00 pm...and i have to get up early tomorrow.

oops!

11 days done

Haha, i understand that my last post was really weird....i was watching greys anatomy, the t.v show, and that scenario came up....it was really weird

So tonight i got to play my first game of softball. I play for my church's league of slow pitch...and i have not been able to go to a single game since the beginning of the season.. :(

but we played tonight and my team did AMAZING...we hit runs and caught almost everything and played really well together. and WE WON!!! :) 13-4 :) it was so awesome!

(apparently last week we lost 33-7 :S)

Next weekend we have a tournament...So we should be able to kick some butt :D i am very excited! :D

So last night i had a dream that i went to my school just to hang out...(yes...by myself) and i looked in the A-Frame...and there was the ENTIRE North-Western tour team....I banged on the door and my best friend lana came running out and gave me a huge hug. and i cried, i was SO exstatic to see her. Everyone else came outside and said Hi to my blubbery self. They had come home because Something bad happened to someone's friends and they needed to be home right away...(so it was a good thing and a bad thing for me....:S)

But i have realised after these 11 days...that i really miss my friends and how much i love them and appreciate their friendship! :)

Day 10

What happens if you get everything you want.

Husband/Wife, kids, big house, amazing job, and friends who love you.

What would you do if you got too Fat to even walk, or do basically anything. And you got very sick and needed a surgery that may kill you....

If you took the surgery there are 2 possible complications.

1. You could live a great life, and still be with your family and kids and what not....but you will still be fat.

or

2. You would die and your family would be left to basically fend for themselves...

Would you take the surgery? if you had a 50/50 Chance to be with your family??

day 9

i now am a proud owner of a Music Page!!!!!!!

that is all....

So, i have gotten into this cycle of really tired during the evening then hyper/wide awake at super late hours....like from 11:30PM-4 AM....it is horrible.

Tomorrow I am going out for coffee with my youth pastor, which should actually be a lot of fun...he is pretty sweet. But if i don't get tired fast, i will be dead to the world by the time i need to get up and go! :P

urrrrg, i wish i didn't feel the need to be up and socialize because i would like to be able to sleep.... :(

<3

My Mexico...Day 7

What do we think about life?

I have really been wondering this thought lately..

Is this life a waste? or are we here to make a difference somewhere or with someone.

What if we walk through life and feel like we don't touch any one's life...and end up taking this life for granted.

I certainly have been one to walk down that path, I figured once i became a Christian, i would save the world. I would travel to remote places and heal the sick and tend to the broken hearted.

Well, I have been a christian for 2 years, and the closest i felt that i had come to doing all those things, was a missions trip with my church to Mexico...where in fact, i was sick with a fungus on my tongue, strep throat and heat stroke (lets just say...i was not into helping people) But i was there, and i was amazed by what God can do...not what we can do...what God can do. God made it rain, he healed me up enough to do drama's and do worship and pray for people in need.

Yes i was sick the whole time, and honestly i felt it was horrible, but once it was over, i knew i did not want to go back, that was somewhere God didn't need me to be.

At my home, i have yet to find my "Mexico" somewhere that no matter how sick, or depressed or anything I am, God heals me, to heal others. To Heal the sick and tend to the broken hearted.

I know my Mexico is still out there...and I wont waste my life trying to find it...Because if i do that, and i don't stop and see all the work i can do to help my church, community and school...what would be the point of saving my energy for a remote place.....

....Isn't our towns a remote place? don't our towns have sick and dying people, or people who have broken hearts?

maybe.... I have found my Mexico...I've just been looking for something that i didn't know was right in front of me. :)

Day 6

40 blog posts.

Yes i have been realizing lately that my blogs have been rather stupid...and just about my days....but i haven't really been creative lately....until last night.

Lately I have been having a really hard time dealing with a certain situation, i just haven't been able to get over the fact that i was hurt. I had such hateful feelings towards this person. But on Friday night, i was able to forgive him and give the situation over to god. and i have felt so great ever since.

I woke up today, really missing my friends, i haven't been able to hang out with anyone. I got to talk to one of my best friends today, and i wish she wasn't so far away so i was able to give her a hug :(

day 6 down out of 28 :(

Today was a pretty relaxed day...

I really did nothing all day....then finally hung out with a good friend of mine. who i haven't seen since i graduated :(

Then I went over to another friends house, to see him before he left for the Yukon all summer!

He is a great guy, and i am going to miss him!

But i am doing great. and i miss my friends who are gone...but oh well, they will be back soon...its funny that it hasn't been a week yet...and i ALREADY miss them :(

<3

So today, i woke up literally at 12:00 in the afternoon....i was SOO tired, i just needed a sleep-in day!

When i woke up, I turned on the T.V and started watching "What Women Want" i had to pause it though (yes...the joys of PVR) so i could get ready for work. I showered and blow dried my hair, then came into the living room, did my make-up and hair...and finished watching the movie!

I then went to work, and it was my first day back after getting injured, so my boss got me a canucks mug :) it was awesome! It was an alright day, nothing exciting happened....

THE CANUCKS WON....kicked Chicago's butt tonight 5-1 :) sooooo great, except for Scott road (a road in my town) was PACKED with canuck fans....honking their horns and waving their flags....it was a little much. not going to lie...

But now i am relaxing...i FINALLY get to go to church tomorrow...it seems like i haven't been to the church in forever! i haven't seen my youthies for almost 2 weeks :( it is horrible, i am a horrible youth leader!

It was my best friend Lana's Birthday today

So. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LANA-BANANA!!! <3

Today was a good day.

Went to the doctor and was able to to be told i could go back to work after injuring myself at work.

Then went into my old Work "staples" and was offered my old job back :) it was so exciting!

Tonight I saw the 6 week tour team. the theme was Unity.. Yes there were some minor technical difficulties....but it was very good.

I got prayer for a problem i was having with forgiveness, and God really came through.

I talked to that person after, and it didn't seem like he connected as well as i thought he would....but honestly, i didn't care...because it felt good to forgive him. I am glad it is over, and i am happy to finally move on. :)

<3

Today was another day.

I didn't do anything BUT sit on the couch :)

it was so nice...I woke up to an amazing text message then worked out and then watched LA ink

I have talked to my friends who left yesterday...which is kind of sad...because they haven't even been gone that long! :P

oh man....till tomorrow <3

Day 1

So today is the first day that my friends have left.

Today was good, woke up and sat around the house (i can do that because it's summer :)

I then went to Timmie-ho's with a great friend of mine...then did some light exercise back to her house.

I ended up hanging out at her house while she went to a meeting (can you tell that i practically live there?)

haha, life is good

soo far so good for Day 1 :)

summer of change

So, lately i have had no motivation to blog....at all...but i realised i should because a lot has happened :)

I am officially DONE my first year of College :) SOOO exciting right?

To describe it, i really cant.

It was filled will amazing times, meeting new people and learning new things!

I was hurt by people, who i thought were close to me. I regained friendships and learned so much about my life i was so happy.

Our school puts on these "tours" with different groups of people from the school and they do skits and what not. and most of my friends are leaving on them tomorrow and this week. Which is really hard, because one of my best friends Kris, is leaving on the tour....and when she leaves, she is never coming back...our school just isn't for her.

So today, i had to go to the school and say good-bye to her, someone who has been there for me through thick and thin, it was harder than i thought... she did so much for me, and got me through so much!

It will be a great summer, its just hard because knowing that at the end of the tunnel is only gunna be part of what i want....and the other part won't be there to make this summer feel like an accomplishment...

That is hard...

Summer Plans

Throughout summer, i have some big plans, for me...and my life.

1. Go down 2 sizes...

-Yes, i know it seems like a lot. But for my height, i am so far from being healthy it's scary.

2. Pack up Room

-Moving onto Campus in September, i need to pack everything that i need for being on my own.

3. Tan

-Yes..i am white..and i reflect the sun....if you don't believe me...ask anyone...lol

to be continued....

Unapologize

I unapologize
I meant every word
Won’t take back the way I feel about you
Can’t unsay what you heard
Cause you heard me right
And I won’t try to fighting back and hide my feelings for you
I unapologize

I haven't hurt this bad for a whole year...

today, 1 year ago, i was talking to you, you were enjoying your spring break in the states, and were driving home tomorrow afternoon...

We were talking about tie shopping for grad, because you were going to be my date...

we argued about green's and purples...and couldn't decide which to wear.

I ended up saying to you, "arrg, fine, Tuesday we are going to metro town and i will pick one for you!! you better come with me".

after you said okay, i told you to enjoy your trip and i will see you on Monday morning, in Entrepreneurship...

What i didn't know is that day would be one of the worst days of my entire life...

lets just say, instead of shopping in Tuesday....i crawled into bed and cried all day...because he was gone and i was never going to see him again..

R.I.P Harman....I miss you everyday...

October 18 1991 - March 29 2009

<3>

Lies.

Why do we lie?

Because it makes us feel better? give us a better life than we have?

that's why I lie....that is exactly why I lie.

The other day, I told a lie...I just wanted to picture the life i COULD have...

I lied just a little...and my heart felt good....then i added to it and felt glee...then added even more and it got so far....that i was ecstatic...until my mind reminded me that it wasn't real, and i fell...and wanted to cry...over something that isn't there.

So why do we lie, only to realise that nothing will come out of it...you will have momentary happiness, and then, you will plummet to your death, because you realise it is all a lie.

So.....Don't do it...

If we are the Body,

Why are his arms not reaching

why are his hands not healing

why are his words not teaching

If we are the body

why are his feet not going

why is his love not showing them there is a way

there is a way

<3

if we are the body - Casting Crowns

Why cant we live the Country life?
It sounds so much easier than what us city people deal with.
have a drink a day, and not care what you wear because you will just get it dirty in 5 seconds.
and do they care? NOPE.

Live in the open area, nothing but trees, mountains and star lit nights that aren't blocked by stupid city life.
I want that. I want it all.
Ride a horse because i feel like it, instead of fueling up the car and driving to Starbucks.
I want to lay outside in the cold staring at the stars instead of the polluted sky we have in the City.

The only worries they have is that the beer runs out, or the winter is coming.
They play guitar and they know every single neighbor from here to california.
Hoedowns everynight, and having a sick southern drawl.

I want out of this city life. I just want all my worries to go away just by writting them into a song and then walking out the door. I dont want to worry about which boy god has for me, i want to be able to sit on the swings with a boy and worry about the now and not about tomorrow.
I want to know what living in the moment is, i am too focused on the future i dont see what is happening around me.
I wish i was a little bit country, i could take back all the times i screwed myself over by dating the cute guy who told me i was beautiful. Or take back all the hate that came into my life because of my dad.
I could just write a song and it would be a major hit, and i would be able to be okay.
I could just ride off into the sunset and leave all my worries behind.

But no, that cant happen. I need to take 5 steps back before i can take 1 step forward. I have to pass all my thoughts and actions through the people above me and just get shot down. I have to spend spend spend in order to live. And get looked down upon because i like an amazing boy and he doesnt even know these feelings exsist.

Oh the life of a country gal, making out then going home. Wearing jean cut offs and a sick pair of boots.
How i wish that was how life was...but its not.
And that sucks.

Today was a great day.

One of the best....i don't think it could have gotten any better.

First i started my day by praising my lord and savior on his holy day :)

But standing in the congregation singing my heart out for Jesus, I would look up to see these amazing green eyes staring at me with a huge grin.

After we listened to a great sermon about being "new" in Christ...and not having to worry about the old you, because you are new in Christ. I settled a pressing issue that was tearing me and another apart. And that makes me happy because i missed being their friend and being around them all the time.

After that amazing 15 minute talk, I went home and cuddled up on the couch, and not even 5 minutes later, an amazing friend of mine said that we would be heading out on an adventure.

Our adventure lead us to a Swedish Paradise and looked through possible room ideas for marriage. That then led us to Go do something crazy with a man named Paul.

Our dear Paul took good care of us...made me cry and made my friend jaclyn almost break my hand.

But we are okay.

We then watched a movie called "He's just not that into you" and took extensive notes :)

And now i need to sleep because i need my rest for school in the morning where i have a big test.

but i will be fine.

because God is good, and gave me a fantastic day today :)

<3>

curing my addiction

I indulged in my addiction yesterday.

I was doing so well, i didn't ask anyone for help, or pretend to be someone else to get close.

...Until Yesterday.

It made me feel so good to be able to look on and take part in my addiction.

I looked at photos and comments and wall posts....it made me feel so good.

I had missed being able to be one click away from you...and be able to sign on and there you were..

Now i need to use people to be able to see you're alright or if you are suffering, and that sucks.

I know i need to be dependant on myself and not give in to these urges...but yesterday i couldn't help myself, i needed to know...and i needed to feel alright.

Yesterday, I Facebook creeped someone who blocked me...

...and it felt goooooooooood! :)

I miss the nights that we stayed up and talked.

I miss being able to wake up and you are the first text message i have on my phone.

What happened...all of a sudden, you were there always....and now you are gone....

and that hurts.

G-ma

I went to a funeral for my great-aunt the other day, and she is a grandmother of my cousin Jessica.

And sitting in front of me was my grandma, and i looked at my cousin, who was in tears from the loss of her best friend and family member.

I looked at her with such sadness, but then i thought about the fact that my grandma is YEARS older than her, and she could be leaving us very soon.

That to me is very upsetting. My grandma is one of my biggest fans and one person who cares for me very deeply. and it seems like i'm not always the first one to call her, or to talk for a long time on the phone when she calls.

I need to remember the times that we have shared together from when i was born to the growing times i'm in now.

I love my grandma, and i guess i need to show it more before there gets a time that i cant show it anymore :(

Moving on

I have begun to notice how hard it is to move on from someone.

When they fall off the face of the earth it kinda sends a message that its over...but how is that a way to give up on someone? and have you walk away saying "I dont like you".

It is obviously my own fault for the feelings I still have, because they were very upfront about thier end feelings. But throughout the time we spent together, It was just two friends having fun and enjoying eachothers company.

God has made it clear to me, that i need to focus on him and know that he has a plan for me. (i know because EVERYONE keeps quoting Jeremiah 29:11) *my life verse*

--For I know the plans I have for you, Good plans, not plans to hurt you, or cause you pain--

I need to focus on my life, and see how it goes until april, and Focus on school and make that my priority...after god of course...but as god has told me "Nothing will happen till april anyways"....and i didnt listen... hahahah

shoot.. <3

life.

I started at this school with the intent on God working in my life and i getting stronger in my faith with him. Because that is why i felt i was called here for.
That is true in a sense, but another reason i have found that he called me to this school, is for the amazing people that i am surrounded by.
They have made my life, so amazing that i cant even imagine what i would do without them :)
Of course there were the people who came into my life and made it a huge roller coaster but now that that is over i can get back to the people who i care about deeply and want to be around every minute of every day :)

God you are a mighty god, thank you for saving me and bringing these amazing people into my life!
it is such a blessing to have them! <3

Me, Jodi, Amanda

what are we?

Dont you hate that question?

are you friends or not

are you dating or not

are you girlfriend/boyfriend or not

its horrible. I hate not knowing what i am with someone.

I like the feeling that someone likes me and goes out of their way to be around me.

I want to feel a ring on my finger and know it is from someone who loves me and wants to be with me for the rest of my life. Not someone god tells me to be with, and peoples visions say is the person for me. God will definitly have a say and will be in the relationship...but i am going with the flow. and the flow is good :)

till then tho, i will have to read people, and figure out..

are we just friends or do you like me more than that

could you want me to date you or just to stay friends

Or should I be your girlfriend and we can turn it into everything we ever wanted..

<3

the wait is over!

So tonight was the kick-off to one of my ULTIME favorite shows.
24
It of course started off with a bang, and that got us thinking of "oh, he's dead" or "oh...he's the bad guy, working with this person" Yes...that is how semi-predictable it is..
But its amazing, because things come out of no where :)

I was so happy to be watching it once again!
(14 days untill I am 19!!! woot!)

19th Birthday! :)

From this point, my birthday is in...

17 days, 429 hours, 25789 minutes :)

yes...my birthday is a very big deal to me. i am not obsessed with it...its just...important :P

Back to it all..

everybody has been asking me,
"so how are your holidays going?" "ready for school?"
honestly, my holidays were fine, nothing special, i sat around most days and watched t.v...then had family issues on christmas eve, then christmas was great then family time on boxing day...then BAM it was over...

My whole break i would talk to people from my school who were back at home...(home which in our world means, holland or eastern canada...or even the states...) so they are all far away.
So i would scream "YES!" that i was excited to go back to school, because school is my life...and the people there are my family!

So, yes, the work will be difficult and i'll want to scream....but thats my home away from home...and im not in highschool anymore, im in college doing what i love to do, which is playing music!
:)

PLBC ftw!

Butterfly fly away

What is a relationship?

is it a love interest gotten serious? or is it a friendship?

is it just a bond between two people? or just a title?

i really don't know, and i feel as if i don't want to know.

I cant just see Mr. right coming out of thin air and saying, "hello, because you sat back and waited for me, i am here to tell you that i am the one god wants for you, lets go get our life started" ha ha... ya right. I don't want the guy I'm suppose to be with to just wait around for me, i want him to search, and search hard. I don't mean be in thousands of relationships with other girls, but have the know how that i am out there and to just live his life and know that one day our paths will cross when we are both doing something we love and we will find each other.

I don't want to sit around and wait for him, i know I'm not gunna fall for someone who just sits around and does nothing with his life. just because he is waiting for me to come around. and i know he wouldn't want to do that either.

so yes, i am going to go out and find that "one" and I'm going to have fun with my life and live it to the fullest, not worrying about oh could that be him, or could that be him.....it doesn't matter, one amazing day, i will be doing something that i absolutely adore and we will meet, that's all i can do..is wait for that day. It will be hard, but there are always tough situations in your life that make you who you are.

LIFE IS A CLIMB, BUT THE VIEW IS GREAT <3

The time has come

what would it be like if life stopped for a moment, and you were able to see every little thing going on around you.
would you examine every little piece and figure out where to go next, or would you be amazed at the wonders going on in the world at that single moment.

I'm right now having to do that, my world stops at a split second and i need to be amazed at what i have and not try to figure out if the boy who just winked at me in the mall likes me or not..
I'm looking at things from a different angle, and i am really enjoying it, being thankful for what i have and seeing the glass half full, instead of stressing out about every little crack or detail, that has NO effect on my life.

I never knew growing up would have this much effect on me....hmm, maybe I DID need a kick in the butt to get me in motion...lets pray and hope that this new grown up is here to stay...cuz she's pretty cool, if i do say so myself :)

New Years, time for a change.

This is where everyone says: I will lose weight, i will be more creative, i will take a risk. Then, in a couple weeks for most that resolution is gone.


I would like to say, i am not going to make a resolution,i am making a plan, one that has had a need to be put in place for a very long time. I do hope I stick to it, because it will help my life drastically if i can :)







In one way and out another...its a hello, goodbye kind of thing

Goodbye to stupid Boy addictions, Hello to Going with the flow.

Goodbye to facebook addicted, Hello to Great grades.

Goodbye to the christian standard, Hello to making my own standard.

Goodbye to not reading the bible, Hello to...well...reading it :P

Goodbye to relationship issues, Hello to what ever happens happens

Goodbye to calling myself fat, Hello to actually doing something about it.

Goodbye to harmful friendships, Hello to friends who keep me on my toes

Goodbye to A.C, Hello to J.C :)

Goodbye to texting soooo much, Hello to talking face to face.

Goodbye to Shy tayler, Hello to not caring what people think of me

Goodbye to clothing standards, Hello to comfort and what looks amazing on me.

Goodbye to Stress, Hello to Calm

Goodbye to obsessions, Hello to not caring

Goodbye to the old me, Hello to the new :)