Fork in the road

What do you do when you get there?

when you have two such impendant choices dangeling infront of you...one leads one way and the other to somewhere different.

How can you know what your life will be like when you dont know where the roads lead?

what if you choose one way and the other way was going up hill and you are tumbeling down a dirt road.

That is what the story of my life is with God. You just never know what you are doing until you do it. Its like walking through a corn maze blindfolded.

You need to be strong and take those steps of faith because there is no going back now and avoiding this choice, because life cant use PVR, it is always live and there is no rewind button.

One Boy or Another?

One Job or Another?

School or No school?

you make choices every second of everyday and at the end of your life time, you get to turn around and look at the path you have walked, the one that is paved, bumpy, steep and covered in your blood and sweat. It is your testimony and when you see the finish line, you will cry and look back on the life you had and say "that was fun" and start your next adventure.

Paths left unspoken for aren't important, because they aren't apart of making you who you are today. Period

dreaming a dream

Its 5 am...
and i am awake...
i dont know why i am awake, but i am...

I had some interesting thoughts running through my mind while i was asleep..i guess you could call them dreams..which is what they are meer dreams of mine.

First: I dreamt i went to Holland to Visit a couple friends of mine in the summer, and it was really awesome, i learnt dutch cuz the family i stayed with couldnt speak english, except for my friend. We traveled all around Holland, seeing sights and just hanging out with my two favorite dutch boys :) Then i fell in love which was nice, but sooo never going to happen...haha oh well..then it switched.

Second: I dreamt I planned a whole trip to Cannon Beach as a road trip with some of my best friends. I planned it all and convinced my friend to drive us all there because he had his full license. So that is 5 people driving down to the awesomest place ever!! We played frisbee and swam and just hung out and it was probably the best dream ive had so far, in my almost 19 short years of life.

I really love dreaming, one, i gives you this high when you have had a spectacular dream, but it also gives you this hope that...maybe, just maybe, it could come true.
These 2 dreams are actual possibilities. Driving to Cannon Beach has been in the plans for a long time now..its just convincing the people...
And as for going to holland, i have been invited, i just need to save up enough money to go there! :)

oh well...if nothing happens, at least i know i have my dreams :)

The Ending Girl

I still have not met the lady of my dreams
her long await is long past due
and i must admit i'll never meet her
Although it's true, i am not sad
For i have met a loady made of dreams
She far surpasses all that my mind could ever create
but not just in beauty
but also in heart
and integrity
spirit and in mind
Not just a plain woman to be with me always
but an extra-ordinary woman who tresures me the same
...i didnt think anyone like you could ever exsit
-Ben Bergen

I miss you <3

AHH over

I seriously hate you
and hate is a very strong word. and i dont like using it to express feelings that much.
but right now it is needed.
Dont tell me to not say it, cuz i'll regret it. and i probably will, but honestly, i need to express everything you make me feel.

You need to grow up and figure yourself out. Realise that not every girl who flirts with you likes you. They have their own ideas and crushes...it happens, just move on.

I liked you.....did you notice the "d" on the end of that? ya, its because i DID like you, but i was around you so often that I realised, you are actually a jerk and i cant stand you. You are amazing and the feelings i had for you wont go away, they will always be there, god worked something in me for you and i dont know how that will effect me, but you should not be gods plan for me....cuz it sucks....

Learn to be a friend. That requires, messaging people back, NOT shutting them out of your life. And to be a friend is to act like one...Jerk is not in the friendship list.

You will do amazing things with your life, and i will always be there if you message me, or end up letting me in...but right now...i really dont give a crap about what you will do...cuz it doesnt concern me. I fell for you, and now im done so...

OH WELL
its your loss not to be in my life, because i am going places and its too bad you arent around for the ride...

oh and ps. I dont actually religiously watch hockey...i did, because its what you liked, and i wanted something to talk to you about....but now thats over, i dont have to rush home and watch the stupid game....THANK GOODNESS.

heartless..

How could you be so Heartless
In the night, i hear them talk, the coldest story ever told

F My Life...that is where i am right now. i cant stand this, i feel so freaking bi-polar, im So happy one second and then the next im on the floor bawling my eyes out.
A great friend of mine, said something to me today.
"be the Chase" i just sat here thinking...."what the crap is the chase? what is that....you run circles around boys till they get dizzy and fall in your arms?" apparantly ya...wierd...
I have NEVER been pursued by a boy, i have always gone after and gotten what i wanted, i guess that was back in the day when i had my good looks and charm...

What should i do, be myself and wait for that one guy to run in and pay attention to me, and have me NOT fall for him and make him work for it?? that is so wierd....

Somewhere far along the road,
she lost her soul to a man so heartless...

If you havent noticed

If you havent noticed yet, i am still in the cold freezing wonders of british columbia. I didnt go to Australia. only because God had other plans for me.
His plans included amazing friends who i get to see everyday and care about me SO much. Amazing classes that i just absolutly adore, and i get to grow in my musical abillities everyday. And a Boy, who i believe could be the one...it will take alot of prayer...but there is a light at the end of the tunnel :)

I love my school very much. and i wouldnt trade it for the sun.....well....maybe somedays i would! but thats okay, we can all dream.... cant we?